One Fewer to Worry About - Get shut of the junk.

Perhaps one of my all time mega gripes is about idiots at the bar when waiting to be served for a beer.  You know, you have been stood there for an absolute age waiting patiently with your five pound note at the ready (mind you that wouldn't get much in some dumps), and you feel certain that the barman or barmaid has seen you waiting and is fully aware that YOU are next in line to be served.

So who are you trying to kid?  Yourself - yes I would guess so.  Do you have any idea how unobservant some bar staff are?  All too many of them don't have a clue about the order the customers arrived at the bar, and worse still - they couldn't care less.  Lets face it that stupid looking gimp whos just weeded his way in alongside you is going to get served before you and unless you start a fight with the drunken slob there is no way to avoid it.  I call this a problem - because if you can and do retaliate - you will end up being thrown out yourself.

The bar "person" will then come over with a stupid sad smile and pretend to be friendly as they say "whos next" - the cretinous insect next to you will leap forward blaring and spitting "me me me" as the desperation for their booze overtakes them and they lose all sense of self respect and dignity in their rush for the prize of more booze to soak into their fat beer guts and alcohol soddened brains (sawdust).  Not wanting to cause trouble (of course the bar person will feel threatened) - they will serve the slobbering woodlouse first, and squeak out a pathetic drivelled excuse under their breath ending with "I will serve you next".  Well I'm sorry but I have heard it all before.

The answer is actually extremely simple.  Barstaff should be trained to monitor the customers as they arrive - not give preference to regulars, but most of all - and importantly - DO NOT ASK WHOS NEXT - YOU SHOULD KNOW - ITS YOUR JOB TO KNOW.  Why give the customer a chance to argue when all you have to do is simply observe and the serve in the correct order.  Go on - lets hear all the bleating excuses "I didnt see them turn up" "it was too busy" "They had money in their hand" the list goes on - but the truth is that they should never ever ask whos next.

How do I know about this?  Ive worked behind bars for at least 5 years serving drunken dispicable idiots at weddings, 21st's, 18th's, the lot.  I've served quiet nights, busy nights and mediocre nights - I know who I despise - I despise those who push in, but they should never be given the chance in the first place.  I consider it my job to assess the situation and serve accordingly, any dispute is hard luck for the liar because I know the score and order of arrival.

Why dont others?  Well - you can make your own mind up.

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